They can’t have tea or take whiskey;
Love thrusts they do not dare.
They consume no meat in summer;
With fibbing there’s no care.
And some find a harem fine,
While sporting odd underwear.
I even heard with Elders they must agree.
Missionaries they can’t swim,
And their devotion’s surreal.
They can only play half-court b-ball;
Two yearly calls home unreal.
Teens must pass purity tests,
And oral sex’s no deal.
These folks are not a usual assembly.
I’d like to say a word, a cordial spin.
The Mormons… make me…grin.
How do you grasp a tenet like the Mormons’?
How do you get a creed so strange to acquaint?
How do you find the way to close the commons?
Talk with a Josephite! A Latter-Day Saint! How quaint!
Many a thing you know you’d like to ask them,
Many a thing you want to understand,
But how do you make them hear
That their credo’s not so clear?
How do you still maintain an even hand?
Oh, how do you grasp a tenet like the Mormons’?
How do you treat their faith with open mind?
© 2023, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.
