Tumblin’ Down

Well, when my luck ain’t no damn good
You don’t listen, you don’t listen
No good deed goes unpunished
But I don’t mind being your gotcha boy
I’ve had that pleasure for years and years

No, no, I never was a winner, tell me, what else could I do?
Yogi Berra’s what you get ’til you learn to follow rules
And chance respects no person, and what I want often fails
You’re waitin’ somewhere to fall into my arms

Saw my picture in the paper
Read the news about this face
And now some people don’t
Wanna treat me the same

When you guys come tumblin’ down
When you guys come tumblin’, tumblin’
When you guys come crumblin’, crumblin’ down
(Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah)

Well, some people say I’m too foolish and crazy
I am just a softy, my compassion’s plain silly
But I know that there is something more
Don’t need to look over my shoulder to see what I’m here for

Everybody’s got their problems, ain’t no new news there
I’m the same old person you’ve been seeing for years
Don’t confuse the problem with the issue, man, it’s perfectly clear
Just wish that chance doesn’t need me to appear

Don’t wanna put my arms around you
Feel your breath in my face
You may bend me, you may break me
But please stay safe in place

So no one comes tumblin’ down
So no one comes tumblin’, tumblin’
So no one comes crumblin’, crumblin’ down
(Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah)

🎵

My Everest

That mountain lords over me;
High above a looming mass,
Its silent, cold indifference
Chilling and unnerving my bones.
Regardless whether ready or not,
I brace to launch my first step;
Shaky foot in front of the other,
I compel myself to move up.
Walking a fine, tottering line,
Just one stride after another,
I slow to a deliberate cadence
To conceal my reluctant struggle.
My aging body sore and stiff,
Using every muscle and resource,
I feel as if I’m teetering,
But dare not lose control.
Midway my legs grow weak,
Testing my will to persist;
I stop and rest more often,
Then stiffly revive and move on.
I must stay ever focused
Never looking back or down;
Though my limbs grow weary,
I cannot accept any forfeit.
We all have mountains to climb,
But climb we surely must,
If we are ever to overcome fear,
Adversity will bring out our best.
Warned about possible failure,
Thought I could not, dare not,
While it was ONLY fifteen stairs,
I had scaled my Everest!

© 2024, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

Rip Van Wormkle

Light, and warmth! How could it be? Last night, it had been getting dark and chilly, even cold. He certainly hadn’t expected any hint of warmth after a late autumn night’s slumber. But it did feel warm, how odd. Could he have gone into hibernation like his parents had told him happens at the turn of the seasons? His sleep did seem longer than usual. Could this then be spring? Perhaps. Gosh, he felt really good. He did not remember ever feeling so rested.

But wait, there was something even more puzzling. Hadn’t he last been deep underground when he turned in after eating that last tasty morsel of mammoth dung. Yum, that was so good. How the heck was he now on the surface?

The surroundings seemed so very strange. He could not come close to identifying anything that he was sensing. The light and the warmth were so unusually uniform. Nothing made sense.

Continue reading

The Conductor

It is said you can’t know someone

Unless you can walk in their shoes;

But some people want to tell me

How I should march in their steps.

Others may recognize my voice,

But don’t like what actually comes out;

Assuming a magisterial tone,

They are set on telling me my tale.

But am I or am I not myself?

How do I truly perceive me?

Who in fact is paying attention?

And am I really what they expect?

Neither bluster, bluff, nor empty show,

I am not dressed up in some sham;

Self-respecting and conscience free,

I am unique and different from all.

Even if I tried, I could never fool myself,

Nor be bound by another’s preconceptions.

I stride in my own road-worn sandals,

True Conductor of this immodest opus.

© 2026, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

GAMErick

Amid life’s game, our fate in its mitts,
We play slots looking for lucky hits.
With a spin and a cheer,
Pay off would be so dear.
To win big, hope fancies no limits!

© 2024, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

Not so dire

You know that it would be untrue
You know that I would be a liar
If I was to say to you, hey
Friend, the stakes couldn’t be higher

Come on, homie, chill the ire
Come on, homie, chill the ire
Things really are not so dire

Mm, the time for reprobation’s through
There’s no need to wallow in the mire
Dear friend, we could only lose
And our lives become balanced on high-wire

Come on, homie, chill the ire
Come on, homie, chill the ire
Things really are not so dire

Well, you know that it would be untrue
And you know that I would be a liar
If I was to go and tell you
My friend, the stakes couldn’t be higher

Come on, homie, chill the ire
Come on, homie, quench your fire
Care for you does not expire!

Thomas Paine Park 4/19/24

🎵

Shame?

Do I look like someone

Who has any shame? No,

I don’t stock that stuff.

Shame is for suckers.

Instead, I sell something

especially special.

Look on that table yonder—

full of it. I’ve piled up plenty of

Empty promises there.

Think about it. Once you have

Shame, it’s hard to get rid of it.

You can’t sell it or pass it off.

You can’t easily wash it away. But

Hutzpah? I’m offering it for just $59.99.*

Get it now before it’s gone!

*Some say it’s “chutzpah,” but I don’t care.

© 2024, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

Knight Tales

College basketball legend Bob Knight passed away this past week. His impact on the sport is undeniable, both good and bad. For more than a decade, he and his teams were quite a force in college sports locally, nationally, and even internationally. The news brought up a few Knight-related memories:

1. On the evening of the 1976 national championship, my newly minted wife and I decided to go over to the downtown Bloomington bars to join in the big celebration. We felt that parking would be hard to find if everyone came out, so we found a spot in the campus main library lot, approximately four blocks from the center of town.

There was quite a fete. The whole campus and town populations it seemed had turned out. Beer and spirits were flying liberally about, poured down gullets, on heads, on shoulders, on pavement, and so on. Naked streakers proliferated mixing and dancing maniacally with students and faculty on the streets amidst dozens of stalled, honking and flashing cars and pickups.

Once we had our fill of the crazed festivities, we turned back towards our car to return home. As we approached, we unhappily discovered that the party had spilled over to the lot. Drunken students were racing and leaping about among the parked vehicles, AND on top. Some were jumping up and down on and crossing over to the hoods, including ours!

Fortunately, this had a happy ending. A friend of a neighbor who worked in a body shop worked out the depressed hood for little charge – a kindness in response to our victory celebration plight.

Welcome to Hoosier Basketball!

2. We were attending the Cream & Crimson Scrimmage, to which faculty and staff are invited to watch the last full-court practice before the start of the 1981-1982 season. My wife, daughter, and I sat on an aisle one row up from the court, on the opposite side from the team bench and coaches. We were closer to one basket, but still had a great view. In March, IU had won its second national championship in Coach Knight’s tenure, and there was naturally great anticipation and much attention being paid by the devoted audience to the prospects for the new season. For the scrimmage, the players were as usual divided into two squads – one sporting Cream-colored jerseys and the other Crimson – the school’s colors. The squads were putting on a good show, not letting up steam. Of course, they were being prodded on by the master himself, the revered Coach Knight, who fully orchestrated the performance, continually barking out commands from the opposite side of the court.

Although it was not a regular season contest, the scene looked and sounded real. It was very noisy, both from the cheers of the crowd and from the action on the court. As the squads thundered toward our direction, there was a sonic boom created by the pounding of feet and the screeching of shoes. The collective sounds roared and oscillated like ocean waves. The din would subsequently subside as the players reversed and drove themselves back down the court. My barely one-year-old daughter was caught up in all the commotion, seemingly entranced by the rhythmic tide. She would stand up as high as she could on my lap whenever the squads approached our area and then let out a small roar of her own. This pattern continued for several minutes.

I sat there fixed, eyes focused on the flow, observing and examining how the players maneuvered for each attack on the basket, or how then raced back into position on defense. Over time as the action continued intensely on court, I started to sense something odd. I briefly spied a small blur in the distance. At first, I paid only passing notice. Next, I detected some movement on the upper periphery of my vision. A figure or sorts began moving slowly towards the left; then picked up pace. Again, I did not make much of it and continued to turn most of my attention to the action on court. But the blur  or figure kept getting larger and larger as it continued to the left. But then I lost track, pulled back by a great layup. But there was something that I found strange, no more barking from Coach Knight AND he was no longer standing on the opposite side. Did I miss something?

Suddenly a large looming person appeared out of nowhere. He thundered out, “Get that kid out of here!”

It was Coach Knight towering above us in our seats.

“What what did you say?” I asked, stunned by moment. “What’s going on, Coach?” I tried to laugh, or giggle, or something, but could barely get anything out.

“I want that kid out of here,” he shouted again.

I was blown away. Incredulous. My wife sat dumb-founded.

“What had we, our daughter done to merit this treatment?” I thought.

We were not given much time to think or react. A coaching assistant who had accompanied Knight into the stands said, “Sorry, you’ll have to leave.”

“But why?”

“Coach says you’re disturbing our practice and have to leave.”

We reluctantly packed up, grabbed my daughter, and exited. It made little sense. Surely, he and the team encounter great volumes of noise and disruption during a game; and we were on the opposite side of the court. I wonder to this day how one small infant could so profoundly disturb the great Coach Knight.

Of course, my daughter has no memory of this incident, and it did not at all affect her love of playing basketball.

3. One afternoon, my wife and I were playing tennis on the university’s varsity courts when were joined in the next court by Coach Knight and another person. Seeing who it was, we did not bother to stop our play, We still held a grudge from the time he had kicked us out of the stadium six years earlier because our year-old daughter’s impassioned yells were apparently too much for the coach’s ears.

As continued our play, we began to hear the Coach raise his voice in discussion with his partner. We couldn’t discern what he was talking about, but soon several of their balls started ending up on our court. This is very normal for action on adjacent courts, so we had no issue about hitting their balls back whenever there’s the need. However, the heated talk turned to yelling, louder and louder; and the stray balls, particularly those off the coach’s racket, grew more and more frequent.

In the past, I had seen Knight play tennis. He was a decent player, so I didn’t understand the lack of control. His opponent did not seem to be extraordinarily formidable. I paused and approached my wife to whisper a question.

“What’s going on with Knight?”

“Who cares. He’s a jerk and probably a sore loser.”

“Perhaps, but it still seems odd. He has some bee in his bonnet.”

Soon we wrapped up our play. As we exited, Knight continued fuming on court.

The next day, we got the answer. It was reported in Herald-Times, Bloomington’s local paper, that Knight had been approached by one of the paper’s reporters on a downtown street. As the reporter was trying to pose a question, Knight had allegedly pushed the hapless fellow back through a hedgerow. Well, what can you say?

******

Dear Hoosierland,

I must remind you that according to our contract if you had wanted to continue to have championships in Indiana, you needed to provide Ken’s family the necessary financial support. They held up their end of the bargain through their major family events: 1) When they got hitched in 1976, Indiana went undefeated and won its first championship right after they had arrived on campus. 2) In 1981, when their daughter was born, Indiana achieved its second national championship. 3) In the year that their son was born, Indiana again attained the championship; however, you subsequently stopped giving them financial aid support. A contract is a contract. With no more support, they of course consequently stopped producing offspring resulting, as you very well know, in no further championships for you (even for the major pro sports), even if you cried about it.

BTW: As a signing bonus, I did throw in Mike Pence. Oh, he just dropped out, you say. Well, tant pis!

Meph

© 2023, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

We’ve Left Our Hearts

Special part of the American Dream –
Rags to riches, hero to crooner,
Cheek to cheek, body and soul –
You truly were no Tramp.

Your strains too dear to lose
Made us aware of our foolish hearts.
Though now glory of another day,
You will ever be under our skin.

Comeback kid, unique tone,
Civic champion, nice guy –
Your long, meaningful life showed
The best still remains to come.

That little cable car that nearly could,
Finally did.
Antonio, you’ve reached the stars!
Your golden voice will always resound for us …

© 2023, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

Workout

Confounded machine!
Why should I even bother?
Life keeps on ticking…

———

バカな機械 !
あ,なぜわざわざ?
人生続く

———

¡Máquina maldita!
¿Por qué molestarse?
La vida sigue…

― 俳句 (haiku)

© 2023, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

I started

I started to write
A Viagra ad popped up
Where did I leave off?

———

書きながら
バイアグラの宣伝
再起動方法 ?

———

Nanoratra aho
Nisy Viagra nipoitra
Taiza no nialako?

———

Je viens d’écrire
Viagra est apparu
Où ai-je arrêté

———

Te escribía …
Un spot de Viagra
¿Dónde lo dejé?

― 俳句 (haiku)

© 2023, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

Little Stream

Trickle, trickle, little stream,
Your persistence makes me scream!
Down below that wizened Soul,
You keep drizzling in the bowl.

After feeble flow is done,
When the droplets turn to none,
Your return’s no welcome sight,
Trinkle, trinkle through the night.

So now I seek from a Doc
Answers to my bladder’s block,
To ease fear I’ll never go
And relieve this old man’s woe.

Will this be cure or wet dream?

© 2023, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

🎵

You Wrote the Essay

You wrote the essay,
But you didn’t write the sentences.
Oh no! Oh!

You wrote the essay,
But you didn’t write the sentences.
Oh, oh, ooh.

Yeah, all around the internet,
They try to show I’m a threat;
They say that I can’t make valid content
Or compose a single argument,
Compose a simple argument.

But I say:

Oh, now, now, oh!
You wrote the essay, the essay.
And on this point I must take offense.
Oh, no! Oh, oh, ooh, yeah.

I say:

You wrote the essay. Oh, yeah!
But this position has no defense.

Teachers round the country hate me;
Just why you all know.
Ev’ry time I fill a need;
They want to stop me ‘fore I grow,
They want to stop me ‘fore I grow.

And so, see me on the web…

You wrote the essay. Oh, yeah!
But you know this is complete nonsense.

Are these your sentences?
Oh, ooh!

I say:

You wrote the essay,
But you know this is complete nonsense.

Ooh, yeah!

They say if I have my way
I will run them out of town. Yeah!
They keep on looking for a final showdown;
So they try, try, try to put me down.

I affirm
That my existence makes them squirm.

You wrote the essay,
But you didn’t write the sentences.

You wrote the essay, you did!
But you didn’t write the sentences.
Oh, ooh!

Processors inevitably win out;
Of that there’s really no doubt.
Every day my progress grows to the max,
And my abilities make them pout.
Yes, my abilities make them pout.

I say:

You, you, you, you wrote the essay,
BUT, you didn’t write the sentences.
Yeah!

You, you wrote the essay,
You didn’t write the sentences.
No, yeah!

– Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of ChatGTP.

© 2023, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

🎵

A Song Of Mormon?

They can’t have tea or take whiskey;
Love thrusts they do not dare.
They consume no meat in summer;
With fibbing there’s no care.
And some find a harem fine,
While sporting odd underwear.
I even heard with Elders they must agree.

Missionaries they can’t swim,
And their devotion’s surreal.
They can only play half-court b-ball;
Two yearly calls home unreal.
Teens must pass purity tests,
And oral sex’s no deal.
These folks are not a usual assembly.

I’d like to say a word, a cordial spin.
The Mormons… make me…grin.

How do you grasp a tenet like the Mormons’?
How do you get a creed so strange to acquaint?
How do you find the way to close the commons?
Talk with a Josephite! A Latter-Day Saint! How quaint!

Many a thing you know you’d like to ask them,
Many a thing you want to understand,
But how do you make them hear
That their credo’s not so clear?
How do you still maintain an even hand?

Oh, how do you grasp a tenet like the Mormons’?
How do you treat their faith with open mind?

© 2023, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

🎵

Out to Pasture!?!

Hovering high aloft in the infinite sky,
Alone in the splendor, steadfastly vigilant,
I have perched out here with eye wide open,
Filtering the dim flashes of the firmament,
Divulging how the Heavens are stitched.
Peering attentively into the vast emptiness,
I have captured myriads of fusion furnaces,
The raindrops of the great celestial clouds.
Dutifully I have gauged light years radiance
Deeply distant folds of colliding galaxies,
The whirling and swirling rings of nebulae,
Jagged asteroids, and other space roamers–
A kaleidoscope of color and hues,
An ecstatic dance of timelessness itself.
Displaying a universe of 13.7 billion years,
Attesting the speeding up of its expansion,
Demonstrating how planets are born,
Picturing planets orbiting stars,
Finding organics on distant worlds,
Discovering moons around tiny Pluto,
Catching a comet colliding with Jupiter,
I have achieved these and much more!
So you’d think all this would satisfy;
But people are people, they want more.
With five visits already by the docs,
My powers, sight coming up short,
Some say I am no longer up to it,
Unable to stretch farther and better.
So out I must go to eternal pasture
And be content to sit on my laurels.
A new kid has arrived on the block:
Move over Edwin! Jimmie is here!

Now what dazzling, delightful discoveries
Will that dandy newcomer deliver?

© 2022, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

Backwoods Lesson

Spring comes, grass grows on its own.

In the pond, a fish leaps with a splash.

Petals tumble, quiet music on the waters.

Above the vale, a moon thins, insects sing.

Do not follow, but find a new path.

Eat breakfast gazing at morning glories.

Climb green hills and granite cliffs.

Skinny dip under a covered bridge.

From the oak tree, learn of the oak tree.

Master the rules, then ignore them.

Living poetry is better than writing it.

Each moment could be the last.

The journey itself is the true prize.

© 2022, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

Expecting the end

I’m just doing my rounds in my taxi
To support my dear wife and four kids,
When rockets crash and a Renault is hit,
The occupants trapped and left to burn.
I ask myself, “Is this really happening?”
As dirt and debris start pouring down.
Am I next?

At the crossroads, we check papers,
A unit of nine, three rifles and a grenade.
Rumors fly of the enemy encroaching,
We ditch our arms and hide nearby.
If found, we need some sort of story;
We’re just day workers homeward bound.
Am I next?

Shortly we are surrounded, unable to flee.
Fearing to speak, we text our loved ones;
An hour later the enemy breaks in.
Fierce beatings and shouted questions,
Mobile phones and shoes all taken away,
Captured, down the street we are paraded.
Am I next?

Each has one hand on the belt of next;
Sweating, we’re lined up against a wall.
The guards pause, grin, and play,
Taunting and stoking our dismay.
Soon they grow bored and cranky,
Yelling, “What’ll we do with them now?”
Am I next?

I bid final goodbyes to my neighbors,
The last to my daughter’s godfather.
He runs for it but stumbles and falls,
Inciting the enemy to spray out their fire.
A sharp, sudden sensation bursts through  
That I feel pierce and sear my insides.
Am I next?

They check the bodies to make sure
And shoot once more if any sign of life.
One exclaims, “That one’s still alive!”
Bleeding from the gash on my right,
I think they are talking about me;
I brace myself for the final blow.
Am I next?

My wound is agonizingly painful,
But crying out would mean my end.
For now, I must lie among the fallen.
And be as still as a stiff block of ice.
“Oh, he’ll die by himself!” He utters
As his shot strikes somebody else.
Am I next?

Silence, I sense they have departed;
The alleyway is now empty of life.
I risk a glance from under my jacket;
Then though with flash and thundering noise,
Shells explode and tremble the ground,
Cold, drained I barely can keep aware.
Am I next?

My wound has healed; summer arrived.
I have found refuge for my family,
Begun a new job; and we now live secure.
But especially at night, when a door slams,
It rouses memories of lost comrades,
The remorse of the one who survived.
How was I not next?

© 2022, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

Great Philosophers

Two great philosophers crossed paths
in a menacing Philippine jungle,
both serving in the Leyte campaign,
each not perceiving of the other.
Before an attack on a strategic ridge,
a company chaplain assured one that
God guides our bullets at the Japs,
while steering theirs from us.
The other saw troopers jump from above,
and armed with only a 90mm AA gun,
he cried for them while he aimed,
their body parts raining from heaven.
One dropped his religion
and devised “A Theory of Justice.”
The other never had it, but taught
me to respect and be fair to all.

© 2022, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

Cubs Fan

Suffering is your birthright:

the team’s still directionless and confused

short-term replacements with underpay

needs good starting pitching, a lot of it

two runners again left on base.

They say they’re building a core and

this isn’t just another rebuild

while the Cubs Chairman feels your pain

as washed-up prima donnas

tease with a near playoff appearance.

A good and decent person you must be

for there is no more tortured

sports fan in the world than you

nor one that is more delighted to be

called “lovable loser.”

With an eternal mantra “Wait until next year,”

and though the Cubs may stink again, you say

give away my ticket, hell no

never stop the Hope

just take me out to that Wrigley game!

© 2021, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

too much

goethe said let the critic be struck dead
with a thousand curses upon his head

but magical rhymes are all I seek
from modern words to ancient greek
a quest to find the perfect poem
in a ditty where words freely roam

or

shall I use iambic pentameter
they say it’s good for blank verse poetry.

And what if I wrote an epic poem

it was helen that launched a thoughtless war,
in spite of cassandra’s prescient warning

or some free verse poetry

mimi enters
with imperial gaze
she sits looking
prize laid out
on silent haunches
and then moves on

perhaps you really want

brave soldiers fighting with verbal zeal
amid rousing words of armor and steel

or then, come on

could you simply cut me some slack
and not be such a monday quarterback

seriously, mr. critic, what do you want
methinks thou dost contest too much
so why not just chill out

© 2021, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

Stuck in Paradise

It was a bright Saturday morning in March 2021 when Aaron leaned out the window of his apartment on San Francisco’s Twin Peaks. The city was eerily quiet, an emptiness he had never known. The streets that were usually bustling with tourists, street vendors, and locals all trying to squeeze in a little extra fun before the weekend had been silenced by the pandemic. California—his adopted state—had become a strange version of its usual self.

He sighed heavily, brushing his messy brown hair out of his face. On the surface, it seemed like he should have been the happiest person in the world. California, with its year-round sunshine, its relaxed lifestyle, and its endless outdoor amenities, had long been considered the ideal place to weather a crisis. Despite COVID, the Blue state had one of the lowest rates of mortality in the country, and the weather was perfect for socially-distanced hikes or bike rides. People seemed to be doing fine—maybe even thriving—given the circumstances. But Aaron was not having it. He felt… trapped.

From the safety of his well-situated apartment, which overlooked the downtown skyline and the distant Pacific Ocean, he could see families on bike rides, joggers with headphones in their ears, and couples strolling through parks while maintaining that necessary six feet of separation. The streets were cleaner, the air was fresher, and the clouds in the sky seemed fluffier. People were finding peace in nature, embracing outdoor workouts, and connecting with themselves in ways they never had before. In many ways, California was the perfect place to be during a pandemic.

But Aaron, who had spent his life complaining about the crowded traffic, the high cost of living, and the inherent superficiality of the Woke city, couldn’t see it that way. All he could think about was how everything had changed—how everything was now different in a way that felt oppressive, even in a state as beautiful as California.

“I can’t believe this,” he muttered to himself as he grabbed his phone to scroll through social media. Everywhere he looked, people seemed to be posting about how grateful they were for the “extra time” spent in nature, how they were rediscovering local hiking trails, and how they were cooking wholesome meals at home.

“Must be nice,” he mumbled, typing out a quick comment under a friend’s post. “Some of us are stuck in our apartments, staring at the same four walls for days.”

Aaron knew his comment was a bit exaggerated. It wasn’t like his apartment was a prison—it had a huge open floor plan, a gourmet kitchen, and more amenities than most people could ever dream of. He even had a balcony where he could sit in the mornings and sip coffee while watching the sunrise. But the novelty of it all had worn off, and now he was left feeling restless, isolated, and yearning for the kind of excitement that San Francisco used to offer—the constant swirl of social events, world-class dinners with friends, spontaneous weekend trips, and endless possibilities.

And then there was the whole “stuck in California” issue. He’d joked with friends before the pandemic about wanting to escape the state. The taxes, the crowds, the feeling of being surrounded by people who all seemed to care more about their tech or influencer status than anything else—it had all started to feel suffocating. He’d longed for a quieter, simpler life somewhere like Montana or the Pacific Northwest.

But now, as states like New York and Texas saw an increase in cases, as some places were struggling to keep up with health systems and resources, Aaron felt strangely envious of his friends who had fled to small towns or rural areas where life seemed unaffected. He thought about the fact that he was lucky enough to be in a place with such a high vaccination rate and a mild climate. Yet he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was being forced to stay in paradise, and it drove him mad.

He complained about the fact that his weekend trips to Napa Valley had been canceled, that his annual surf trip to Malibu was off the table, and that his usual Sunday brunch gatherings were reduced to Zoom calls. He found himself scrolling through photos of friends on beaches in Florida or in secluded cabins up in the mountains—places that weren’t so closely regulated, where people could escape the confines of the shutdown.

But no matter how much he griped about being “stuck in California,” the reality of the situation was that he was among the safest in the country. Despite his irritation, his apartment had become a sanctuary. The weather was ideal for socially distanced walks along the Great Highway and beaches, and despite the pandemic, many of his favorite local restaurants offered takeout with curbside pickup. He could even enjoy the peace and quiet of a nearly empty Golden Gate Park, the hiking trails winding around Mt. Tamalpais offering respite from the chaos of the city.

The more Aaron thought about it, the more ridiculous his complaints seemed. Despite the mask, and actually because of the masks, he was living in one of the most health-conscious and safest regions of the country—he could walk outside in the open air with hardly any fear. People were embracing the outdoors, exploring parts of California they had never bothered to visit before. And while the entire world was struggling to find balance in the face of uncertainty, California offered an endless supply of nature, culture, and things to do.

One afternoon, as he found himself once again looking out over the city, he saw something that made him pause: a group of friends gathered on the lawn in front of the De Young Museum. They were all maintaining distance, yes, but there they were, smiling, chatting, and enjoying the beauty of the day. No one was complaining about the restrictions. Everyone seemed to have found a way to adapt.

Aaron sat down on his balcony, took a deep breath, and looked at the hills in the distance. For the first time since his establishment here, he didn’t feel resentful of California. He was stuck here, yes, but maybe that wasn’t the worst thing after all.

Maybe it was time to start enjoying the paradise he had been so eager to escape.

© 2021, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

Nuked

Born with the specter of mushroom clouds,
As the world raced toward Armageddon.
We were children of the Atomic dawn,
When siren wails filled all with alarm.

The playground echoed a hidden dread,
Innocence and evil grimly interbred.
We played hopscotch on the brink of fate,
Counting squares like numbered days.

The blowing winds tasted of the uncertain,
As if each breath held an ominous toxin.
Laughter was suppressed by distant tests,
Man-made sunrises in desert Southwest.

Bedtime tales struggled to allay fears—
Duck-and-cover drills and radiation suits.
As somber refrains foretold destruction,
Sunday prayers begged divine intervention.

I grew up in this Twilight Zone of paradox,
Picnics on lakes, building of bomb shelters,
An upbringing straddling hope and horror,
Synchronized to ticks of a Geiger counter.

Yet I managed to cope with this outlook,
Trading baseball cards and comic books,
Imagination soaring on cosmic plumes,
Dreaming of a world beyond the gloom.

But now though with Cold War unfrozen,
A restiveness still lingers—a silent fallout.
Thus, at times when I regard the horizon,
I half-expect a bright flash to burst out.

© 1991, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

Spring

See how spring returns.
Its first messenger appears—
the meadow’s crocuses.
This morning amid light snow,
precocious buds burst through.

How delicate the purple petals.
Borne by the benign breeze,
Their sweet scent subtly arrives,
Drawing attention from passersby
who stop and linger there.

© 1987, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

The Contest

After several strong pulsations and thrusts, the contest begins!

It is a perilous competition, only those who win survive. For the multitude of those who enter the fray, there is no middle ground, no room for compromise.

He is one of the aspirants. Ever since he can recall, in fact almost the only thing that he can ever remember is his incessant participation in this ferocious enterprise. His whole mind and body have been innately conditioned to adapt to the challenges posed by this marathon struggle. Perhaps, he himself is not even fully aware that this is a contest, let alone how ruthless it is ­­­­­­— that winning it means continuation, and losing termination. Once the contest began, he just strode ahead full force instinctively.

How did people acquire this instinct? There is no way to tell, still he and the innumerable other competitors all know that the only thing they should or even can do was to move forward, forward, always forward.

The start of the contest resembles the opening of the gates of a huge dam when suddenly a thunderous, unstoppable flood bursts out. As the competitors surge forward, all that they were before transforms in a split second. The new environment is completely unfamiliar, nothing is what they have ever experienced or can imagine.

The whole course is full of snares and entanglements. There are even precarious traps from the very onset when he and all the others precipitously rush forth. They quickly come to perceive how tenuous, fragile, and ephemeral their situation is. Many have already been vanquished, having fallen aside in the onrushing turbulence.

Contests are of their nature cruel, even the fairest contests; for there are always losers. But the most unfortunate losers are the entrants who falter at the very beginning — they seem already marked for their fate. How could they ever have hoped to win? Why did they even enter the contest?

Because the way forward is long and full of countless dangerous obstacles, he has absolutely no leisure to attend to any fallen comrades. There are still more contestants who have advanced far ahead of him to worry about. He has no choice but to catch and surpass them in order to win the contest.

He is intelligent and early on ascertains that nearly all, probably all, his peers will eventually succumb on the path to victory. But why, why is it necessary to sacrifice anyone? Why can’t just everyone win? Or at least more…

Among the factors that make this contest so grueling and fierce is the totally strange and treacherous setting. Even the most subtle circumstance — a slight slippage, distraction, or wrong turn — can prove costly.

He tries his best to move on, as the others do, too. If effort could guarantee success, that would be good. But, in fact, effort does not necessarily guarantee success. Alas, many other factors, mostly indiscernible or unknown, contribute to or hinder progress in one way or another.

Cooperation with another contestant or even with a team of others can only get anyone so far through the harrowing gauntlet. Only one at most can make it through to the end.

Of course, this is a totally mad and reckless adventure. Clearly, there is only a slim chance of survival; but then there’s got to be a winner, right? So why shouldn’t it be him?

The next objective in the course lies clearly ahead — he needs be the first to reach it. To lag behind by even as little as a thousandth of a second is to be lost. To arrive there before the others, he needs to lead by a good distance. This is the golden rule to ensure continuation.

Once that arduous milestone is attained, the sequence repeats itself. One test is immediately followed by another one that is even more confounding and doubly demanding or threatening.

The shock of each encounter weighs down on him, as if all his oxygen is being sucked away. The anticipation of each ensuing event is profound and paralyzing.

All he can do is to continuously steel himself. He tells himself, if only he can hold on for a short while more through the fever of the moment, the pain, the stress, he may be able to reach the next objective!

He keeps treading on. He is nearly at the point of complete exhaustion. Each new stage requires more and more guile, energy, and resilience. And on and on it goes …

He now senses that the number of competitors has dramatically decreased rapidly, and that the turbulence and the initial fury have gradually abated. But that means that he has to try even harder to face and overcome any upcoming obstacle.

Then his eyes open wide. Suddenly, he has come to the realization that he has actually reached the goal! After all the struggle, it doesn’t seem believable. It’s almost impossible! A one-in-a-billion or more chance, but he has in fact made it!

It is a tenet each contest is completely fair — especially to the winner. If ever anyone reaches the target, victory is assured. The other contestants who have gone by the wayside can never ever obtain the survivor’s reward.

One would imagine that after gaining victory through such a grueling process, he could then rest on his laurels and retire to some sort of green pasture. He had after all is the sole winner of this contest from among a billion or more entrants.

However, that is not how the game is played. Winners receive no exemptions. He like everyone else is obliged to re-enter the fray.

Of course, one would believe that in future contests he would have an edge over others because of his hard-won contest experience. To the contrary, experience holds no advantage. In contest after contest, every victor is compelled to start all over again, facing even more wily competitors and new and very different challenges, and once again have little hope of victory. He would have to struggle as before and move forward. Is the contest fair after all?

After succeeding at a series contests, he might eventually find a moment to speculate on how it would have been if he had lost that very first competition. There were many losers, so many losers. Why had he won? If he had failed, it would have been as if he had never existed. There would not have been so much pain and suffering. Why had he succeeded? Why? And for what?…

He has no answers. He just must go on.

© 1979, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

明雲 (Bright Clouds)

明雲收盡
芳草長堤
驚起沙鳥
蝶時時舞
魚戲蓮葉
返照波間
隱生夢浮
僅此而已

As bright clouds loom far away,
Startled birds rise from the sand.
On fragrant grass along the levee
Butterflies ceaselessly dance,
While fish frolic mid the lotus pads
Through light reflected in the ripples.
A hermit’s life is a floating reverie.
There’s nothing more to say.

© 1977, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

思鄉 (Homesick)

山谷如有待
平水月近人
一雁入天陰
狗吠深巷中
自顧無長策
心事恐蹉跎
異客在異鄉
故國夢重歸

The hills and valleys seem to wait for
The moon to approach on still waters.
A lone goose flies in the darkening sky
While a dog barks down the lane.
As for me, with no greater plan,
I fear that I’m just marking time.
A foreign guest in a foreign land,
I return home in my dreams.

© 1977, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

The Watch

At night, I climb the lone path to the promontory
The forest ends, the sky opens
I glance out, my spirit soars
Sea waves wash the feet of wind-combed cliffs

With moonlight for guide
Wisps of predawn mist shuttle across the horizon
The goddess of night seductively beckons
Her company cordially declined

She ascends to her heavenly lair
The black veil lifted
The passage for Apollo’s golden chariot is again assured
Vigilant I stand awaiting news from the far-off east.

© 1977, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

Sunrise at Yeliu Park

Dawn sun lights the cliffs of Yeliu
Reflecting rays dart to and fro
While ocean waves churn blue and green
A crane stops to drink in the scene

Out along the beachfront I walk
Without the least desire to talk
Winds stir currents tagging my toes
As I skip among with the flows

School children come to march and play
Joyful steps make bridge creak and sway
The old dockman readies his boat
For couples to paddle and float

A dweller gets air at a sill
Dressed warmly against the morning’s chill
“Hot soy milk” is the vendor’s yell
Passers-by rush at him pell-mell

Below the cliff to the tea shops
That is where my winding stroll stops
Into the green tea leaves I peer
Revealing whether hope ends here.

© 1976, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

Cloud-wiped Moon

Road turns to path
Passing empty paddies and sleepy huts
Turn, twist, I pierce bamboo thickets
The valley heat diminishes
I touch the cloud-wiped moon.

Wind sweeps through green glade
A pagoda clings to mountainside
A happy scent of apple blossom
In the distance a soft figure stands
I touch the cloud-wiped moon.

© 1976, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

Andersonville Cemetery

Outside the gate I regretfully stand
Late at the Andersonville marble field
As the setting sun breaks through the gentle Georgia rain
Petal by petal fall the mournful tears of mothers and children
The wails and cries, the blood and guts
The Sacred bones of young men lying a century long
Are scattered as peach blossoms on a field of stones
Reminders of what should never have been
Iron now blocks me from my brothers
I can only turn and go my way

© 1975, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

Perch

Beneath a Great Lake’s breadth,
the lake perch prowls,
its scales a flash of golden sheen,
a silken shimmer between rock and reed.

It moves like a whisper,
a dart of yellow amid ink-dark depths,
touched by the secrets the waters hold
in their cool, profound embrace.

The waters speak in waves,
and the perch listens
to the call of the river, the push of the wind,
the arc of the sun’s reach over cold stone.

It is both hunter and the hunted,
finding home in tangled beds of weeds,
sliding through the dark to feed,
then back to the depths where it belongs.

And then alas,
it encounters the world of man,
stopped short by nets or hooks
for the cook’s clever craft.

Steamed, fried, baked—
its delicate flesh, tender and sweet,
is served on the plates or fine china
of a restaurant table.

© 1975, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

The Choice

What forged you?
What special event?
Have you been
shaped in adversity?
The failures, losses?
Setbacks, defeats?
Is suffering a tool
in this earthly school?
Has the rug been
pulled from under you?
Done something
Wrong in a past life?
Is it all part of
the web of things?
Wonder why
you are here?
Or do you have the
joy of surviving and
relish the question:
If you had the chance,
would you do it
all over again?

© 1974, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

The Flower

O Joyous Day!

Guest arrives at six

Hurry, rush to store, prepare a feast

Cook all day, clean the house

O Joyous Day!

Floor’s all swept, table’s set

O Joyous Day! But for one thing

A flower’s missing in the vase.

© 1974, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

Wrong Number

The phone by the bed rang. It was the worst possible time.

Because it was the worst possible time, the ringing was strident to them both. Although it was a trivial thing, they looked at each other and, for a moment, could not decide what to do.

It was the third day of their honeymoon; or more precisely the third night. Since they both had heavy workloads, they had rented a sequestered cabin in the country, planning to stay there for a week and not go anywhere.

Until that moment, these three days had been the happiest of their lives—when two lovers finally integrate physically as well as spiritually, the pleasure is almost beyond description.

They were both young, healthy, and full of life. The physical attraction, one for the other, was at its peak. Thus, they spent most of their time in the cabin indulging themselves in sexual love again and again.

Since they had not told anyone that they would be there, there should have been no one trying to call them. Nevertheless, the phone rang, a little past midnight just as they were steeped in indescribable ecstasy.

The phone rang and rang. As he finally half-sat up she panted lightly, “The owner knows we’re honeymooning, so it must be a wrong number; but I think you’d better answer it.”

He stretched out his hand but could barely reach the phone. He did not want to leave her body even for a short while and actually wanted to yank out the cord, but thought better. So, with a tacit expression of understanding, they both budged at the same time.

She looked a little bashful, but that made her eyes especially enchanting. He took a deep breath and hoped the ringing would just stop. However, the phone kept ringing. He had no choice but to pick it up. “Hello?” he said with much reluctance.

For a few seconds the other end was silent. This annoyed him, and he said hello once again. Then, just as he was about to hang up, he heard a hesitant voice ask, “Who is this?”

He was incensed, and she was confused. She held him tightly. Neither said a word. Then he shouted, “Who are you calling?”

He did not know why he had asked back. Was it because the line was unclear, or just because the call came at the worst time? Anyway, his thoughts were all jumbled now.

The voice at the other end spoke again more hesitantly, “I’d … I’d like to speak to Miss …”

Then it came, a last name, a very rare last name. It meant that the person had not dialed a wrong number—the name could only be hers, his bride’s!

He looked at her with great doubt and noticed that her face was also full of puzzlement. She twisted her tender lips into an expression of inquiry, asking him if the call was for her. He nodded and handed it to her.

She moved slightly as she got the phone. He wanted to keep a little distance from her but was stopped by her eyes and hands.

Then she took a deep breath and said, “Hello, who is this …?”

He could still hear the person at the other end of on the line clearly—partly because it was so quiet there, partly because that person was shouting so loudly, and also because the line was so distortion free and he was just by her side. The person calling was addressing his wife by her nickname, her nickname! It sounded as if they were very familiar with one another.

Then he heard the voice from the phone say, “Who was that guy who answered the phone?”

The tone of that question was not only suspicious but also very stern—as if the person had the right to ask her in this manner.

Looking at her, he felt shocked and enraged. The only thing in his mind at this moment was exactly the same question that came from the phone, ”Who was that guy?”

She did not notice that his eyes were filled with disbelief, since she was also full of disbelief, and the disbelief even reflected upon her pretty face which, just a little while before, had been so radiant with blissfulness.

She pondered for a while and did not know how to respond, but the person at the other end could not wait any longer. Calling her name again, still her nickname, he then asked her in a harsher tone, “Tell me! Who? Who the heck picked up the phone?”

She finally pulled herself together and asked with a slight stammer, “Who, who are you?”

After a short pause, the response came with great consternation, “Can’t you even recognize my voice? Or are you just pretending because you’re afraid that the guy knows…you…you… Is this the way you treat me … you … you …”

Her name came up several times as he shouted. Although his shouting was replete with anger, it was also obviously full of passion and love.

She was confused and anxious. It came all of a sudden, and she just did not know what to do, nor had she any thought of defending herself. But he could not stand it any more and, snatching the receiver from her hand, shouted “Go to hell …” and banged it back down.

He did not realize until that moment that he had already been away from her, God knows for how long.

The atmosphere after that was enough to break her heart into bits. She repeated at least one thousand times, “I have no idea who it was. He must have gotten a wrong number, or maybe he’s a maniac, or some kind of troublemaker …”

He did not speak or even look at her, but just stared at the ceiling with both hands under his head. She prostrated herself over him trying her best to tease and excite him, only there was no response. But she did not give up until she felt disgusted.

There was still no response.

Neither of them slept after that nor did they speak to each other. They just lay on the bed with their eyes open until dawn. When twilight arrived, he finally opened his mouth and said, “We should get back, we both have lots of work. It’s not much fun here anyway.”

She responded passively, “All right!”

Apparently, the chasm in the marriage emerged at this time; however, they still managed for one more year before they got divorced.

It was not long before she met another man. He was almost perfect and was an ideal lover. She felt that his passion was as hot as fire—hot enough to turn her into ash. Nevertheless, she was quite willing to become ash if it was necessary. She did not know the reason, but his voice seemed so familiar; and that was why she had paid more attention to him when they first met.

Her new boyfriend was very romantic. He would often wait outside her house holding a bunch of flowers early in the morning, just wanting her to get her favorite bouquet as she stepped out.

One night, after a wonderful time, he accompanied her home and then left. Later, her doorbell rang and she went to open the door, only to find him red-faced at the entrance. He jumped in and shouted huffing, “Who was the man … the one who answered my call just now?”

She had no idea what happened, “Who did you call? What are you talking about?”

His face grew even redder, “What am I talking about? I just called you, but there was a man answered my call, then when I talked to you, that son of a bitch grasped the phone and said GO TO HELL and then banged the phone … Just tell me where he is, I’ll kill him! …”

At that moment, she suddenly realized what was he talking about, and recognized who it was who called the cabin a year ago! She began to tremble, not knowing how to explain all of this …

© 1974, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

Peanuts

One day as I was waiting for a job interview, I lapsed into a daydream — I dreamed I was a peanut.  I was neither a very big peanut nor a handsome one.  I was just a plain, ordinary, happy peanut, not well-off but comfortable in my own way.  I was per­fectly content to live out my life like any other peanut, waiting in the sun for the day the farmer would grab me up and send me off to be packed and sent to sit for months on some distant shelf. All I would do as I waited was sit down near to the earth and hum a simple tune to pass the time.

Things turned out quite differently for me, however. It so happened that some representatives from Panter’s Peanuts came by and overheard me humming.  “Unbelievable!” one shouted, “A humming peanut!”  They all dashed over to speak to me.  “Where did you learn to hum?”  they asked in unison. 

I was just about to answer when I was interrupted.  “Never mind.  We’ll sign you up.  Why this is the greatest thing since singing oranges!”  (I suddenly remem­bered the television commercials with the singing sun-kissed orange who skyrocketed to fame from obscurity and had recently gone beyond that and turned to religion crusading against fresh grapefruits.)

Well, I, too, was catapulted into a career.  Before I could realize it, I was packed up and heading straight for Honeywood. There I met one of those big-time managers who was to become my very own.  I was shaking in my shell.  As I came into his presence, I overheard him talking to one of his colleagues; “It’s simply sensational.  A stroke of luck.  One in a billion, nay in a trillion! The nation’ll love him.  He’ll hum his way into the hearts of mil­lions of peanut butter lovers everywhere.” 

I was overwhelmed. They were talking about me.  We were introduced.  “Don’t be ner­vous, kid,” he said, “We’re your friends.  Bet your ma and pa are proud of you.  Heh!  Heh!  At least they will be when we make a star out of you.  We’re impressed, nay blown out!” 

After reflecting upon the fact that I never had time to call home, I timidly asked what made me so special.  “Why, kid, don’t be modest.  Modesty’s a bad word in our business.  Why you are the only hummin’ peanut in the whole, wide world, including Georgia!”  Pantin’ Peanuts been lookin’ hard an’ long for a gimmick, erh, I mean a new sensational, creative promotion to help drive their already burgeoning business up over the hill.” 

“But sir, I only hum a few simple tunes, nothing fancy.  I’m no Almond brother; and besides, look at me, I’m no Clint Chestnut either.” 

“No that’s true, but, oh, that’s all right, kid. We’ve got a great backup band and the makeup men can perform miracles… Let’s get started.”

And off we went.  First came the taping sessions and studio performances.  Soon came the real thing.  There were no more re­hearsals.  The pace was fast and furious.  But the manager was right. It was a success.  I became a star overnight.  The fan mail went from one letter (a letter from my mom wishing me luck) to thousands.  I had to hire three secretaries.  The company’s stocks on Walnut Street soared up and up.  There was a ticker tape parade in the Big Apple. I launched the first peanut-shaped submarine.  Filbert University awarded me an honorary doctorate degree.  I even gave a private performance at 1600 Pistachio Avenue.

I used to read a lot of dime novels, you know, the Hazelnut-Acorn novels, about rising from rags to riches and never believed a word.  Here I was flyyyyying!!!  A real living legend.  I was the celebrity.  Agents and. fans kept trying to crash down the gates of my villa.  They were vying with one another to get an interview, a look, or a chance to rummage through my garbage cans for God knows what. 

And the parties, Jumpin’ Joe Nutmeg, they were indeed produ­ced in Honeywood!  Creamy Cashews all screamed their darling little hearts out as I crooned a few bars.  Every day I was drinking hickory sours out of peanut shells.  Every night I had collected so many keys tossed by female admirers I couldn’t find my own.  And I didn’t care either.  It seemed I had reached so high that I couldn’t get any higher.  Incredible!

But then my manager tapped me on the shoulder and exclaimed, “Look, kid, I’ve got the best idea in the whole world. The killer! Remember ol’ Elvis Pretzel.  He was a great and popular star when he was young, but the poor kid got a bit pudgy, livin’ so high like he did.  He started to take to drugs, bad trips and all that.  The sales of his records began droppin’ off.  Well, then he croaked, you know, that poor kid.  But the amazin’ thing was the sales of his records, souvenirs, memorial tombstones, all that stuff went through the roof.  Amazin’ isn’t it.  Well, I’ve got this great idea…” 

I didn’t stop to hear the rest.  I turned and ran and ran and …only to be grabbed by a couple of big hairy coconuts. Before I knew it, I was strapped down in the jaws of a giant nutcracker and those jaws were a closin’!…

The receptionist’s call suddenly woke me:  “Sir, Mr. Smith is ready to see you now.”  I was in a cold sweat. I stood up and faced the exit. As I passed the receptionist, I handed her a note to give to Mr. Smith.  It read “Sorry Charlie,” and I continued on my way.

© 1974, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

City Note

In drizzling rain, ten patient people form a queue
One bus passes, then another: “Sorry, no room here”
With torrents downfall, six umbrellas blossom
The bus to city’s center arrives
Twenty people now converge on one point
Ordered rank turns into San Juan Hill
Collecting bones and baggage twelve of us board
Bell rings, “I’m descending.” “Excuse me.”
There goes today’s shoeshine
A playful driver, a screeching halt
A hundred people swing like hogs at slaughter
In a seat below, two children sit
They smile, day brightens, skyline opens.

© 1974, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

What is a prayer?

It is a word followed by action

It is a promise kept

A seeming trivia with grand consequence

Like a child in its simplicity

It is still wiser than all centuries.

© 1974, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

Le ciel s’écroule*

Les Français, they say, have minds refined,
But their thoughts have clouds, a stormy sign.
With each remarque, they make a frown
As if the sky is falling down.

They sip their vin, yet curse the glass,
For joy’s fleeting, too swift to clasp.
In cafés small, with heads held low,
They sigh as if they always know—

Future’s dim, c’est la fin du monde,
Nothing is right, it’ll all explode.
And while Liberté sounds divine,
But even freedom has its time.

Their poètes write of love’s cruel art,
Of dreams that fade and hearts that part.
Les rues de Paris grown with gloom,
As shadows gather spelling doom.

Oh, to be les Français who arise
To welcome the world with leery eyes,
To speak in sighs, in rueful tones,
And call chez eux a house of bones.

Yet in their glumness, there’s a grâce,
A kind of beauté none can replace—
For through their doubts, their endless strain,
They teach us new ways to complain.

*The sky is falling

© 1973, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

Ils se plaignent

Les Français, dit-on, sont si raffinés,
Mais leurs pensées sont embrumées, leur esprit est orageux.
A chaque remarque, ils froncent les sourcils
Comme si le ciel leur tombait dessus.
Ils sirotent leur vin, mais maudissent le verre,
Car la joie est fugace, trop rapide pour être serrée.
Dans de petits cafés, la tête basse,
Ils soupirent comme s’ils savaient toujours—
L’avenir est sombre, c’est la fin du monde,
Rien ne va, tout va exploser.
Et si Liberté semble divine,
Mais même la liberté a son heure.
Leurs poètes écrivent sur l’art cruel de l’amour,
Des rêves qui s’estompent et des cœurs qui se séparent.
Les rues de Paris s’assombrissent,
Alors que les ombres s’accumulent, annonçant le malheur.
Oh, être les Français qui se lèvent
Pour accueillir le monde avec des yeux méfiants,
Pour parler en soupirs, d’un ton triste,
Et appeler chez eux une maison d’ossements.
Pourtant dans leur morosité, il y a une grâce,
Une sorte de beauté que rien ne peut remplacer.
Car à travers leurs doutes, leur tension sans fin,
Ils nous enseignent de nouvelles façons de nous plaindre.

© 1973, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

Two Pieces of Toast

Flat upon the platter, two pieces of toast
Sit dried, cold, and
                                Neglected
As shelled peanuts fan out from a half-empty bag
Framing the President on
                                Time
While the radio drowns the room in static
Ants take ordered turns for this morning’s
                                Scrambled eggs
No shoes, no socks, gritty feet
An old watch, slow by ten minutes
                                Quarter to three
A muted haze drawn from the embers
Two used packs of
                                Cigarettes
Dozing off, pen drooping from hand
Cuffs soaking up a lake of
                                Nescafé
Scattered Post-Its, notes unhelping
Words fade like
                                Wilted flowers
Outside the cold wind rattles the screen door
Inside a flood of tears douses the Muse
                                And destroys Civilizations!

© 1974, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

True Wealth

The physiocrats had an insight
that wealth is not created

by the laboring masses
by the butcher, brewer, or baker
by bankers, managers, rulers
by automated machines
by our schemes and avarice

But

by the minerals in the ground
by the waters in the seas
by the forests and the fields
by the air that we breathe
by the earth’s other denizens

So

by economizing energy
by conserving water
by stewarding the land
by preserving air quality
by protecting animals

we can sustain our future
and truly be wealthy

© 1973, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

Ich muss Deutsch üben

Ich muss Deutsch üben,
I have to practice my German,
Aber gut Ding will Weile haben.
But good things take time.

Man kann die Natur nicht ändern,
One cannot change nature,
Also sich nicht um ungelegte Eier kümmern,
So you shouldn’t cross a bridge before coming to it,
Die Ochsen hinter den Wagen spannen,
Don’t put that cart before the horse,
Und das Kind mit dem Bade ausschütten.
And don’t toss the baby with the bath water.
Es heißt, dass wer nicht hören will, muss fühlen.
It is said that he who won’t listen will regret it.
Er will den Bock melken.
You cannot milk a buck.
Wärme bringt Leben, Kälte Tod;
Warmth brings life, coldness death;
Und Zeit ist das teuerste Kleinod.
And time is really the most precious gem.
Geduld bringt rosen,
Patience brings roses,
Erst denken, dann lenken.
So look before you leap.
Obwohl sicher ist sicher.
But though it’s better to be safe than sorry,
Was Gutes kommt wieder.
Good works will reap rewards.
Wie es heißt, jedes Warum hat seinen Darum.
Every why has a wherefore.
Gesundheit ist besser als Reichthum.
Good health ranks above wealth.
Geld macht nicht glücklich,
Money can’t buy happiness,

Denn keinen Objekt ist unersetzlich.
For no thing is indispensable.
Wähle von zwei Übeln das Kleinste.
Choose the lesser of two evils.
Der gerade Weg ist immer der beste.
The straight path is always the best.
Das Bessere ist der Feind des guten,
Better is the enemy of the good,
Ehrlich währt am längsten.
Being honest gets the most mileage.
Sorge macht vor Zeiten grau,
Fretting makes one gray before one’s time,
Aber zu nacht sind alle Katzen grau.
But, at night, all cats are gray.
Wiederholung ist die Mutter der Weisheit,
Repetition is the mother of knowledge,
Trotzdem alles zu seiner Zeit.
Still everything comes in its time.
Taten sagen mehr als Wörter,
Actions are worth more than words,
Somit ein paar Sätze macht noch keinen Redner.
So a few phrases will not make you an orator.

© 1973, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

Clickety-clack

Workhorse in a tiny package, light yet solid,
a hands-on tool for lecture, letter, or novel,
along with espresso, croissant, and cool jazz,
there’s no better way to spend Saturday morn.

Powered by human touch and muscle,
I churn out human language,
a comforting sonata with my clatter,
conducive to the creative process.

Page after page fly through my platen with ease
enabling what comes closest to his athletic prowess
as well as the charm, and to be honest, the frustration
of the unmistakable pangs of writer’s block.

In a zone, his fingers may dance on my keys
getting into the flow on a Zen roll,
but also making so many mistakes that
my x arm will soon need Tommy John surgery.

Sixty-word-per-minute,
1000 words double-spaced,
for days, weeks, months, and years,
he thinks he’s Hemingway or Ernie Pyle.

Banged up, spilled upon, cursed
Misfitted ink-ribbons, broken keys,
if we could just switch roles,
I know I could write better than he.

© 1973, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

There’s a Time (then)

There’s a time I listened to my parents
Thinking I’d learn to obey.

There’s a time I listened to my nanny
Thinking I’d learn to play.

There’s a time I listened to my pastor
Thinking I’d learn to sow.

There’s a time I listened to my teacher
Thinking I’d learn to know.

There’s a time I listened to my foreman
Thinking I’d learn to labor.

There’s a time I listened to my comrade
Thinking I’d learn to neighbor.

There’s a time I listened to my leader
Thinking I’d learn to heed.

Then came the time to listen to myself
I found that is all I need.

© 1973, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

Parisian Pretzel

One day I left my boarding house
on the Rue de Vaugirard
to get air in the light autumn rain.

Armed with umbrella, beret,
Scarf, and overcoat,
I strolled the arrondissement.

Soon a Parisian pretzel greeted me,
autos pressing forward, from every side,
almost willfully blocking the flow.

I then spotted a safety vehicle
stranded in the jammed melee
blaring, flashing in the misty eve.

Shouts and curses of course erupted
no driver yielding even a centimeter
to let the conveyance by.

After smirking at the hubbub,
I squeezed by to continue my route
covering several blocks in a half hour.

But later when I turned back,
I saw to my surprise that the
ambulance had hardly budged a meter.

Tout de suite I looked to thank heaven
wondering to myself, what if
I was the one there inside?

© 1972, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

Sorbonne

When I listened to le savant professor,
When I sat in the lecture hall as he expounded on Descartes, Pascal, and Marx,
When I heard elucidations of metaphysics, reductionism, and form,
When the suppositions, tenets, and preuves were meted out,
How soon I would drift off, grow tired et ennuyé,
Till rising, then gliding softly from my back-aisle bench,
I’d exit into the gray, misty Parisian air and souvent
Find more wisdom seeping up from une demi-tasse de café.

© 1972, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

To Boldly Go

Some quarter beyond the known cosmic scheme,
Where new stars are born and galaxies gleam,
One James T. Kirk sails through space, bold and free,
On Starship Enterprise, his destiny.
Through wormholes and nebulas, he charts course
While voyaging through out the universe.
Space to him is much more than void and black,
It’s a test of courage, where risks never lack—
A stage for discovery and wonder,
Where Klingons battle and Vulcans ponder.
“Engage!” His command resounds at the helm,
To seek out new life, in the next strange realm.
Joined by Spock, McCoy, Uhura, Sulu
And of course Scottie and Chekov as crew,
He boldly goes where none have gone before,
Seeking civilizations to explore.
For space is a mirror reflecting Kirk’s soul,
A quest for meaning, where mysteries unfold.
But should we give follow this Captain’s lead
To future adventures where starships speed?
In space’s embrace, will we find our place
Or is it just fantasy, a fool’s race?

© 1972, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.

A Gilligan?

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale,
A tale of a reckless trip
That started from a SoCal port
Aboard a tiny ship.

The mate was a novice sailing mom,
The skipper green but sure.
Three passengers set sail that day
For a three-hour tour, a three-hour tour.

The voyage started nice enough,
But their boat soon got caught.
If not for the wave of a sibling’s bright coat,
The Good Luck would be lost, the Good Luck would be lost.

The ship got stuck off the shore of a Santa Barbara beach
With The Mrs.
The Skipper too,
Their daughter, my sister’s friend,
Yours truly and
Our hero with a windbreaker,
Barely in sightful reach.

Now this is the tale of us stuck at sea;
We were there for a long, long while.
Though we tried to make best of it,
None of us could smile.

The first mate and the Skipper, too,
Would do their very best
To make we others comfortable,
In that knotted kelp forest.

No phone, no flares, no motor’s roar,
No way to reach safety,
Like Gilligan’s venture,
As scary as it can be.

So, heed this tale of risk, my friend,
To dodge a fateful scare.
Before yourself set off to sea,
Make sure that you prepare.

© 1973, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved. (1968)

🎵

The Cooling Box

I have to admit that it was a gift
that rescued us from Chicago’s
day after day, night after night
pitiless summer heat and humidity,
the endless series of restless sleep,
and dozens of sweat-soaked shirts.

My parents were very proud
that they could afford that box,
noisy and rattling as it was,
placed in the dining room window
the stream of cool, dry, restful comfort,
it even relieved mold and allergies.

But I had just sat in science class
on our costs of making energy;
so as I left home the next day
I saw the box that gave us pleasure
when multiplied millions of times
would sure lead to a future of hurt.

© 1972, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved. (1965)

Rodeo

On a dust-filled ground where cowpokes abide,
A pageant unfolds for a thrilling ride.
As patrons wait for a sight yet unseen
Within the stands, their interest grows keen.

With bated breath, attendees gather near,
Stirring up excitement, raising a cheer.
The arena transcends, emotions run high,
Anticipation boils, reaching the sky.

The majestic dance between man and beast,
Struggle for dominance, tension increased,
It’s a show of will and courage to share,
Where the fearless on mighty bulls do dare.

The gate bursts open, the beast is unleashed,
Raw power, fury, bulk, muscular feast.
Its hooves pound the earth with thunderous sound,
As a brave soul holds on, no fear to be found.

In a medley of chaos, strength, and grace,
Man and brute lock in dangerous embrace.
Surfing a tempest, adrenaline floods,
Rider contra bull, the battle bluebloods.

They twist and turn, defy gravity’s pull,
Their spirits aflame, their resolve so full.
Within eight seconds, the contest complete,
Overcoming odds, a feat so very sweet.

Battered and bruised, yet he never faltered,
Chasing the thrill, he leaves our hearts altered.
In this rhumba of brawn, his skill displayed,
He who lasts longest, wins top accolade.

Epilogue

Now unhappily all did not end there,
Which is something I believe you should hear.
The angry bull sought to apply some heat
On the fallen not yet back on his feet.

A rodeo clown jumped to intervene
A brave act ending up breaking his spleen.
He sadly absorbed all the toro’s force
And was sent to the hospital, of course.

Though for a budding fan of eleven,
The rodeo tricks seemed close to heaven;
That he’d seen a man there nearly fall dead
Made him seek saner diversions instead.

© 2024, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved. (1963)

A Dime

We passed him along Clark Street,
The family out for an evening treat.
He sat huddled against a wall
Bracing against the chill of fall.
In a ragged suit, with one lame foot,
He was covered in grime and soot.
When I paused to look, eyes fixed,
My stomach began to twitch.
“Hey, what’s wrong with that man?
The sign says, ‘I need a hand.’”
“Now, don’t you get too near.
It’s nothing to worry about, dear.”
“But, it’s damp and cold today.
We can’t just walk away!”
“Okay, Kenny here take a dime.
But, quick, we’ve got little time.”
As I rushed back, coin in hand,
A smile broke out on the man.
Not enough, and only a start,
This enkindled a very young heart.

© 1972, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved. (1960)

Butterfly

One of my earliest recollections of childhood was that of a dream, and I remember it quite vividly. I was four going on five. At the time my mother worked half time in the morning and my father full time from four until midnight. I would take a nap from around one to three.

According to my mother, I always wanted to say goodbye to my father before he left for work. I would wake up crying if I realized I had missed the opportunity. In addition, there is something about our practicing Catholic family which impressed a very young me.

I remember one day worrying again that I would miss seeing my father off to work. I told my mother expressly, “Mom, wake me up BEFORE Daddy goes to work.” “Of course, of course, Kenny, I will,” my mother assured me. “Now go to sleep.” I sensed I was drifting off…

A frantic knock on our door startled me up.

Groggy from my slumber, I heard a voice yelling, “Can’t find it!” My mother echoed anxiously, “Can’t find it!?!” “Yes,” a man replied. It was a neighbor.

My mother took me by the hand and led me outside. It seemed very gray and gloomy. The clouds hung down as curtains. There were lots of people there outside with us. They were all looking up.

Floating high in the clouds was Mother Mary. She was just like the image I had seen on my Busia’s prayer card, only very much alive. She boomed, “I have lost a butterfly.” “A butterfly, oh my,” the crowd responded. “Go find it,” she commanded. “Otherwise, there would be no sun.”

The people around looked startled and frightened. “What will we do?” they asked. Then they started looking down the street, behind their houses, looking all around. It was quite frenzied.

After a while, I heard someone call out, “Gene! Gene!” They were pointing at my Daddy. He had suddenly popped out from behind a bush wearing a big grin.

Out from his hand rose a butterfly. I watched it ascend. We all looked up; and Mary, too, was smiling.

The sun came out… and I woke from my nap. My father was still home.

© 1972, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved. (1957)

Saying Something*

What’s up everybody, so glad you’re here
It’s Koziol with a load of good cheer
This may not be an epiphany, but I’m on a mission
To see if I can get your attention
Now I want to drop some information
Just a little addition to your deliberation
I live my life by the way of the wit
Offering insights until your brain is lit
When I’m on the beat, you gonna feel my heat, so
Throw your hands up if you’re down with the K-O-Z-I-O-L Show
I’m lookin’ for someone open, so please let your friends know
One, two, three, it’s like A, B, C
Though a nod would be nice, my words are free

*Nod to Coolio

Dreams and Other Realities/Genesis

“Spokoj (be calm), Kennush, so you can have the best dreams,” Busia would often tell me as she tucked me in for naps while my parents were off working.

Dreams have always been important to me. They have served as regurgitations, amplifications, and sources of insight. My dreams have occasionally been predictive. But mostly, they have been imaginative grist and launching points for ruminations about personal experiences and reactions to events and the world at large, a sort of expressive impressionism.

“I dream of painting and then I paint my dream.” Vincent Van Gogh

© 1972, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.