The Valet and the Orange Man

Nauta and the Orange Man were hiding a stash
They stayed up all night to move boxes and trash
From Jack Special Counsel Smith who had a jurist named CAN(non)
For reasons unexplained, she liked the Orange Man

Nauta was a sailor ‘fore he became valet
But soon found out serving Orange Man was not child’s play
They knew that they’d find freedom just across the MAGA Line
So they hopped into a stolen car, took Highway 95

And the fools went down, all the way to hell
Never saw them when they’re standing
Never saw them when they fell

Jack Special Counsel Smith never liked the Orange Man
Even back at the Hague, he wanted to see him in the can
CAN sadly became enamored with a treasonous shill
She got appointed by the Orange Man from the Mansion near the Hill

It was out on Traitor’s Row, Nauta at the wheel
They dashed into paradise, they could hear them tires squeal
Jack Special Counsel Smith pulled up and said “Everyone stop or I’ll fire.
If you don’t surrender now, it’s gonna go down to the wire”

And the fools went down, all the way to hell
Never saw them when they’re standing
Never saw them when they fell

After their case rolled up, Special Counsel close behind
Events took his case away, messed up his mind
Jack Special Counsel Smith was left climbing up a tree
Prosecutor thwarted by a biased judiciary

Next day, Jack Special Counsel Smith still was in pursuit
He was taking the whole thing personal, he didn’t care about the loot
CAN had shown him many times it was easy to be bought
With MAGA, anything’s legal as long as you don’t get caught

And the fools went down, all the way to hell
Never saw them when they’re standing
Never saw them when they fell

Someplace by Coleman Prison, they ran out of gas
Jack Special Counsel Smith had cornered ’em, said,
“Boy, you didn’t think that this could last”
CAN jumped up out of bed, said,
“There’s someplace I gotta go”
She took a gavel from the drawer and said,
“It’s best if you don’t know”
Jack Special Counsel Smith was found knocked out till appeal
The Orange Man was on the lagoon bridge using Nauta as a shield
Agents said to Orange Man, “We’re not fooled by Nauta’s lie
The videos show how he became your go-to MAGA guy”

And the fools went down, all the way to hell
Never saw them when they’re standing
Never saw them when they fell

Now the town of Mar-a-Lago is quieting down again
I’m sitting in a bar and grill called Born Again Den
The TV set was blown up, every bit of it is gone
Ever since the nightly news said that the Orange Man was on

I guess I’ll go to Florida and get myself some sun
There ain’t no more opportunity here, everything been done
Sometimes I think of Nauta, sometimes I think of CAN
Sometimes I don’t think about nothing but the Orange Man

And the fools went down, all the way to hell
Never saw them when they’re standing
Never saw them when they fell

And the fools went down, all the way to hell
Never saw them when they’re standing
Never saw them when they fell

🎵