Commissioner Gordon,
What, what can be done?
Jury’s so unruly, unpredictable,
Whose signal should we enable?
There’s only one with dedication,
To solve our legal complication.
[Cape Crusader music]
Statman, Statman, Statman, Statman!
Pow! Correlation! Sock!
A renowned social psychologist!
Statman, Statman, Statman!
Skew! Biff! Zok!
A pioneer trial behaviorist!
Statman, Statman, Statman, Statman!
Blap! R-value! Zamm!
Adds fresh introspection!
Statman, Statman, Statman!
Data! Zap! Whamm!
Applies strategic jury selection!
Statman, Statman, Statman!
Crash! Deviation! Klonk!
Leaves jargon, outliers behind!
Statman, Statman, Statman!
P-value! Wack! Zlonk!
Knows justice is not always blind!
Statman, Statman, Statman!
Awk! Significance! Bonk!
Sees cases from a juror’s mind!
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na
Statman!
Dave will surely save the day!
© 2022, Kenneth Koziol. All rights reserved.
